Teratak Firdaus

Under a dome of white jasmine
With the roses entwined together
On a river bank covered with flowers laughing in the morning
Gently floating on it’s charming risings
On the river’s current
On the shining waves
One hand reaches
Reaches for the bank
Where the spring sleeps and
The birds, the birds sing.
Under a dome of white jasmine
Ah! calling us
Together!
Under a dome of white jasmine
With the roses entwined together
On a river bank covered with flowers laughing in the morning
Let us descend together
Gently floating on it’s charming risings,
On the river’s current
On the shining waves,
One hand reaches,
Reaches for the bank,
Where the spring sleeps,
And the birds, the birds sing.
Under a dome of white jasmine
Ah! calling us
Together!

I feel like it is a sin to be wasting my breath on such travesty towards the human intellect, but I do understand that this must be done to forewarn you guys off this cliched, stupid, and absolutely moronic piece of crap.

Looking at the title, and then the trailer afterward, it struck a familiar tone to my noggin: “Highlander”. And I thought, oh yeah, great, Jim Caviezel is knocking off Chris Lambert. But no, the premise is different, and the movie is different, till I went thru the first 30 mins. After that, it went down hill, down the well, heck down to Hell.

First of all I thought, ok lah, it’s about a monster/alien movie which is set in the Norse era, ok, interesting. Then the story goes like this: this alien human came from space, crash landed in Norway, met some Vikings along the way. Then, he realized he accidentally brought to earth an Alien/monster from the planet he came from, and all hell broke loose. Ok, the fun part’s over.

Then to tell this quite interesting concept, the STUPID director/scriptwriter/tukang lampu took parts of every monster movie available on our DVDs and mashes em all into one big bowl of crappy soup, spits one or two in it and then fed the goo into our hungry mouths.

Honestly, if you have seen Aliens (1,2,3,4,5), Predator, Aliens Vs Predator, Jurassic Park, Godzilla.. whatever.. then subconsciously, you have already seen Outlander.

The storytelling, the concept, and my god even the characters were ripped off from these movies, (look for Boromir in LOTR). It’s nothing new, its as if this so called director was just so bent to bring a Viking-Alien hybrid tale, that he forgot one thing, the tale itself. Everything is so clichéd, hero came to some village/town, hero sees girl, hero now has competition with the would be king/king/prince, hero saves the day, king died, hero gets the girl and get to be king too. Woohoo, HOW ORIGINAL!!

You know what I think? I think there like a default guide for storytelling in Hollywood somewhere, I can imagine the directors went on like this:

Director A: Hey dude, I’ve got this cool story

Director B: Oh man, I’m smokin pot here, What’s that about?

Director A: It’s this cool story about this alien guy, he’s like from space.. and he crashed on earth like a 1000 years ago…and..uhh.. he brought with him an alien monster and he fought with the alien… on earth .. yeah

Director B: Wait wait, this one guy fought the monster alone? I dunno man

Director A: No.. no… He found these village people, and they fought with him.. but uhhh I’m stumped man… I got nothing after that.. I wanna make it cool

Director B: How about u make the village people Vikings?

Director A: oh yeah!! COOOL duuude, then what?

Director B: Duuuh… hey just use the Default story ya dumbass, where’d ya put the manual Hollywood gave you?

Director A: Uhuh yeah, forgot abt that.. uhh have some more pot?

Director B: Yeah, lets all smoke pot

Let’s just sum up what’s wrong with the movie:

1.The monster looks like Alien/Godzilla hybrid.

2. The alien hero who’s clearly gonna steal the (would be) king’s girlfriend had no confrontation with the king, nope, nada, zilch! On top of that the king ‘sacrificed’ himself in the end, wow, how CONVENIENT. It’s like they aren’t even trying to put something into that tension, it’s as if they just made a cool shortcut for this alien outlander to get the girl.

3. This alien hero is oh so conveniently human (to get the girl you know)

4. Why on earth the spaceship fell on earth in the first place is stupidly hidden, yeah they did try to explain, but hey, how’d you explain crashing I dunno, BILLIONS of light years away from us  and crash landed here.. directly to earth?? We have like sooo many planets in between, why earth???

5. And my god, Norse women were really really strong!! Why? Imagine a 3 ton truck kay, roaming around your village, and eating away the village people (for fuel I suppose). So you set for a quest to destroy this drago.. I mean truck who just so happens to live in I dunno, probably a volcano, with a very steep 90 degree cliff.. with a waterfall just to make it look cool. OK, so you fight this truck and you tricked it to the edge of the cliff and it fell off. But no, the truck somehow able to caught your left arm before falling (he had a very good set of tyres, grips great), and hung on, all 3 tons of girth, just hanging.. from a 90 degree cliff all supported by your one arm. But then, oh no, you’re slipping, why? Because the laws of physics dictates that a body affected by gravitational pull cannot be stopped by another body with a much lesser opposite force (translation: you cannot have a 3 ton truck  hanging from your arm!!). Ok fine, then this girl, suddenly grabs you and hold on to you, you stopped slipping and hung on, with that 3 ton truck from the edge of the 90 degree cliff, with your arm holding that 3 ton truck… just hanging.. am I getting through here?

My advice, don’t waste your money, go watch what, Bride wars or something, at least you’d get to see girls fight.

Hi Bloggy,

Two years ago this day, i was driving myself silly around Shah Alam with my (then) new car. I was scurrying around shopping malls to get ready to leave Malaysia for my life changing journey to the “Bharati” (India for lamos) . Underneath all this, I had a more sinister objective, trying to find the pinkiest pair of socks I can find to soothe a certain someone’s feet from getting cold… from the cement (don’t ask).

I keep trying to recollect my thoughts, this time two years ago, it must’ve been quite a trip. All the insecurities of leaving the familiarity and security of being under maternal bosoms (a figure of speech of course), all the while thrilled of what’s going to be, and where I’ll end up in the coming years. And on top of that, discovering my fate (or probably the lack of it) that was waiting to be unearthed after 5 years in the making.

That was then…

Two years on and after about 6 pages of my empty passport filled, I am moving again, changing my life again, still wary of the unimaginable possibilities that lie ahead., I can’t count how many of these little dialogues I had in my head before this, but neither will I care.

From the Lion City in the south, I’m heading for Krung Thep Maha Nakhon, the golden city of Bangkok, another year of my life would be spent on discovering this still uncharted territory of yours truly. Hopefully by this time, I’d gain a few more gems into my ever shrinking memory space and posses a greater conciousness of my expanding world.

I look forward on surviving again, particularly as a Muslim in non-Muslim friendly environment. I’m telling you, the past 6 months have been a blast, masjids are near, halal food is aplenty, unlike India where I’d have to turn vege once in a while. But Bangkok.. it remains to be seen my dear friend.

Definitely will miss my family, heck! no more weekend trips home.

Oh yeah, Alhamdulillah after a fruitful adventure in this small red dot down the straits of Melaka, I’m finally finding myself a decent house, I’d reckon if I’m gonna invest in something, it’d better be in property, so hopefully insyaAllah my agent would find me a good one soon and we’d see one of the first actual Teratak Firdaus coming to fruition. (and I can start raking in the moolah :D)

So, so long my faithful Bloggy, until my next post which I doubt would be too soon, but I’ll keep you in mind on the next insignificant events of my sordid (but happy) life. Ma3assalamah wa ‘Ilalliqa’

Your friend,

Fakhzan Al-Selanjuri

This is an extended review I posted on my family’s newsletter, i’m kinda in the sharing mode rite now so, I’m posting it here:

Notes: ABClan or Abu Bakar Clan is the name given to my family on my father’s side, starting from my grandfather and the subsequent generations.

Assalamualaikum and welcome to another randomly picked genre to glorify AbClan’s pages (another word for occupying space). Now this time, I’m not going to blab with some technical mumbo jumbo instead, I am opting to indulge on another one of my favorite past time: movies. This movie I’m reviewing is a bit personal to me, since it’s an embodiment of my entire experience back in the land of the Rajahs, reminding me of the “sweet” aroma of sandalwood, incense and a whole lot of unprotected armpits, the incredible land of India.

Slumdog Millionnaire: An ABClan Review.

Luckily for this movie, I didn’t read the book before I watched it, for if I did, it may have drained a lot of my enthusiasm from reading the so many positive reviews (Rotten Tomatoes gave it 94%, which is spectacular). The book which Slumdog (i just use this for short) was based on carried too much weight, too much getting out of focus like most Indian movies and to some extent too much fictioning of a story that it dilutes the basic idea of Slumdog – a love story woven from the fabrics of the lowlife to the highlife of India. However, since I watched this movie first, this movie did justice to the very disappointing curtain closing of 2008 box offices (apart from Dark Knight, Iron Man, and a few other gems that shall be unnamed :p ).

Watching Slumdog I can’t help but feeling a little bit nostalgic, because honestly, it is WSIWYG (What you see is what you get). I told my friends and the members of the Abdullah clan that THIS is what India looks like, inside out; its beauty, its majesty, its slums, its pride and its shame. And of course added with a little Indian love for the theatrics, this has India stamped all over… with a twist J. Fortunately though, the movie was anchored by two directors, Danny Boyle, a very much English moviemaker (see “28 Days Later”) and Loveleen Tandan, an upcoming Indian director to give this English spin on an Indian Tale, an Indian feel to it.. Wow, sounds Keling-y isn’t it haha.

Slumdog Millionnaire is a story about a young, uneducated boy from the absolute lowlife of India, retelling his journey into life that has brought him success in the most celebrated game show of all time, what else? “Who Wants to be A Millionaire?” (thus the namesake).Technically, the flow of the movie is simple, yet the way it is portrayed, is just superb, I have never felt this good about a movie for a loong long time. And just a warning to the uninitiated, if you’d see me and fellow Abdulah-clanners recollecting the story, burnt into our minds would be the very funny scene where Jamal Malik, the so called “hero” of this story willingly sacrificed his dignity and ehem.. sanitary just to get an autograph from his idol Amitabh Bachan. It is funny, sad, horror, and love all rolled into a neat package, brilliant, and I believe even if I spill all the beans spoiling you with all the details, its just not worth it, because, in the end, for this movie, it’s not about the story, its about the journey, and the people that brought the journey is absolutely mesmerizing, they are amazing actors, all of them, that’s why I can’t give any specifics because the characters, which comprises of several actors for each timeline, are the “actors” themselves.

For those who don’t like Bollywood moves, moi included, this is NOT a typical Indian movie, no songs no dances and no hero that can jump ten storeys high deflecting bullets from machine guns and ricocheting the bullets to kill 50 billion bad guys in one go. But for those who love the Indian theatricals, this is a chance to catch a glimpse to the other side of India that you guys probably have missed. But don’t worry, being truthful to the Indian spirit, they did manage to sneak in a little dance number just for you guys, so don’t leave the theater (or your DVD players for that matter) after the movie finishes.

“Arrey baba, Movie playing Hai, Chalo!”

© Pictures courtesy of Rotten Tometoes (http://www.rottentomatoes.com)

Here’s a sample OST by A.R. Rahman

08-latikas-theme1

If I count my days right, it would be almost 300 days since I penned this post. Although how near to the 300 days, one might wonder.

Alhamdulillah to the graciousness of Allah, I am exactly where I wanted to be since the past year. My constant prayers and determination to get where I am now I should say is a testament to what has been profusely repeated throughout the Quran:

“Innallaaha ‘ala qulli syai’in qadeer”

Verily Allah is All-Powerful over All things.

How I have come to understand this mighty verse, this constant reminder that He, has keep repeating in his Qalaam. And how powerful the human mind is when it is at most determined.

Looking back at the events that have led me here I began to wonder, is it really true that when one solidly believes in something, it’ll come true? Because honestly, if I rewind this reel of life that I have experienced, it is almost impossible to think that my life could turn out the way it did. being a Grissom fan myself, I am always the skeptic looking at evidence rather than being guided by blind faith.

But faith, and belief is very powerful my dear friends, and its being proven again and again. I have just being introduced to The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, and yes being a muslim, I have always kept my conciousness alive off any signs of syirik from any forms, and The Secret is no exception. However, I’m not deaf, and I’m not blind, the heart accepts, and the mind listens. And I have come to realize how most of the contents of the book, is not far from the quran, they merely change God to Universe.

However, I’m not gonna debate about the book, and it’s contradictions. I’m just gonna say one thing. A Prayer is a very powerful tool. I remember my Ustaz told me that if we Ask to Allah what ever we want in 40 times of Solaatun Haajaat, it will come true. Be positive, and always keep good thoughts in, and bad ones out. Be thankful of what you have.

I love my life

I am at a crossroad,
At one point I’m heading this way,
And another that way;

Global warming sinking the world,
bit by bit filling our lungs,
Tuvalu biting the dust;

Work got in the way of things,
Yet work is what we need,,
Be it Here, Korea Switzerland, Singapore…

Friends getting hitched,
Pals getting babes,
Foes getting a hairpiece;

Time flies when you try to live,
Life flies when you try to time,
You fly when its your time to try;

Cornershots in urban war,
Body bombs in a suicide pact,
Chemical warfare collecting dust;

The Pope goes America,
The torch goes China,
Zimbabwe goes hysteria;

I am at a crossroad,
At one point I’m heading this way,
And another, mine;

Its been 4 days since the election, and I still remember vividly how we (me, poovan and liew) stayed up all night watching the monitor, eagerly waiting for updates from our friends and MalaysiaKini.

Now if I’m gonna rant about how this new government coalition’s gonna affect foreign investors, or trader confidence blah blah, it’ll bore most of you to death. But all I can say are:

1. Its a testing time for Malaysia, regardless how effective the new government is, they’re extremely fragile, so we all better watch ourselves.

2. The new government on both sides would do anything to win voters for the next election, so they’re suiting up. Its a one shot deal here, and if anybody screw up, then its bye bye on 2012.

3. If you look at the poll results everyone is in perfect balance (somehow), so all of the parties are watchful to each other.

4. Although its a great time for the rakyat, decisions on government policies might get affected. In a sense that they all have a say now, thus decision making would take longer than usual.

Anyhow, we pray and hope for the best, InsyaAllah

This is a tribute to the best cerita in the world….

Unfortunately I forgot what its all about :p

p/s : pueh ati Yan?

Kehkeh, I got my first guitar kapak today :p and i managed to get thru Cranberries’ Zombie (well a very simple version of it) just a few hours after getting it kehkeh